julie-lanphear

Is a piece of furniture keeping you small?

Fri, 19 Dec 2025 00:10:04 GMT

The $3,200 Green Couch:

A Lesson in Living Bigger

I had a problem sitting in my office. Specifically, a high-end, incredibly comfortable, forest-green couch from a boutique store in Denver.

It was in excellent condition. Logically, I had three choices:

Sell it: I could easily get $900 for it today—money that could go straight into my 401(k) or toward furniture that actually fits my current space.
Keep it: It’s my most comfortable piece of furniture. Maybe I’ll have a bigger house one day?
Give it away: My friend has a growing family and a house with plenty of room. She could use a better sofa for her growing family.

On paper, selling it was the "smart" move. Keeping it was the "safe" move. But as I sat with the decision, I realized this wasn't about a couch. It was about inertia.

The Trap of "Small" Living

In the past, I’ve given things away—even cars—not because I was generous, but because I was afraid of the sales process. I was avoiding the "hassle." That’s not generosity; that’s hiding.

But this time felt different. Hovering between selling and keeping, I felt like I was staying "small," holding onto a vague fear that I’d face scarcity in the future and regret letting the couch go.

The Pivot: Trusting God’s Provision

I decided to give the couch to my friend and her family. They were ecstatic! It fit their needs perfectly. I also gave them the area rug, and it fits perfectly in their home.

The moment I made that choice, the energy shifted. It wasn't just about clearing floor space; it was about reactivating generosity. I realized that my highest priority is to live in the "flow of God’s provision." More than that, I got an office space I love. It’s roomy and warm now that the couch is gone, and I find my creativity flowing more freely. It was the right decision for me and for them: a win/win if ever there was one!

When we hold onto things too tightly—whether it’s a couch, a job posting we're afraid to publish, or a conversation we're avoiding—we're acting as if the supply is limited. But when we give, we aren't just helping someone else; we become part of the provision. We move from a posture of "What if I don't have enough?" to "I am a channel for more."

Why This Matters for Your Big Decisions

Whether you are a solopreneur struggling to hire the help you desperately need or someone facing a personal crossroads, the principles are the same:

Take the Small Step: Overcoming inertia doesn't require a giant leap. It requires one small, tangible action that moves you from "thinking" to "doing."
Identify the Fear Holding You Back: Naming the fear is the first step. Are you avoiding a move because it’s hard or because it’s not the right move? Be honest about your motivations.
Live Bigger: This isn't about the size of your house; it's about the size of your spirit. When you act with boldness and generosity, the rewards—peace, purpose, and joy—are always greater than the cash value of what you gave up.

What’s Your "Green Couch"?

Is there something you’re holding onto out of habit or fear? Is there a presentation you're afraid to deliver or a job posting you're scared to list?

Stop waiting for the "perfect" moment. Take one tiny brave step today. You might find that by letting go of what you’re holding, you finally open your hands to receive something much better.

Schedule a Conversation!

A Personal Story of Struggle, Surrender, and Renewal

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 16:06:17 GMT

Finding Hope In Your Wilderness Experience

There are times when life takes us into the wilderness—moments of uncertainty, fear, and longing for guidance. Your wilderness might look different from mine, but the pain of not knowing what’s next, the desperate prayers for God to “do something to make this better!” and the weary hope that somehow God still has a plan—these are experiences we share.

I'd like to share a wilderness season from my life. It’s a story of struggle, surrender, and the unexpected renewal that happened when I finally stopped fighting to control something beyond my control. Through it, I hope you will find the courage and faith you need to find strength in your own wilderness places.

When Everything Felt Like Too Much

My turning point came on New Year’s Eve, 2013, when I finally stood up and decided that I would do whatever it took never to have another year like 2013. I was exhausted—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—and I was tired of resisting what was happening in my family.

For years, I had prayed for God to heal my husband’s alcohol addiction and restore our marriage. I longed for a miracle that would change our story and glorify God.

But instead of healing, things got worse. I dealt with increasing anxiety and confusion, unsure of what to do or which direction to take. I couldn’t sleep. I cried and trembled with fear every time I drove into my neighborhood because I didn’t know what I’d find when I entered my house.

I kept praying, believing, and hoping—yet nothing seemed to change. Except this:

The Gentle Nudge

One afternoon, while riding my bike down Easter Avenue, I heard a quiet but unmistakable whisper in my spirit: “Get help.”

I argued back, “I don’t even know how to get help!” and then, I added brazenly, “If you want me to get help, Lord, you’ll have to bring help to me.” And that’s precisely what God did for me. God takes what you give Him, even if it’s only the tiniest smidgen of willingness!

Help started coming to me. A friend to walk with and share my experiences — she had been through the same thing. She referred me to other friends who had insight into the kind of help I needed. I spent an afternoon in the library, seeking the wisdom of various writers. I discovered a therapist with insight into addiction and how it impacts family members. I found Al-Anon, where people listened without judgment and encouraged me to keep coming back and experience the support I so desperately needed.

Gradually, I understood why I felt stuck. I had been waiting for others to change so I could find happiness. But happiness comes from within, and if anyone needed to change in this situation, it was me. It was time to identify what I truly needed. A difficult realization for me was that I need sober interactions. Others might not need this, but I do, as it allows me to rest, refresh, and stay healthy.

I started to realize that I have choices. We all do, but I’m not responsible for others’ decisions. I am only accountable for my own well-being. The rest is in God's hands. If someone needs to change, that’s God’s prerogative, not mine.

I began to find the courage to make life-affirming choices, to protect the one life I have. This is my life. How do I want to use it?

Unexpected Outcomes

I had prayed for my husband and marriage to heal. What I received instead was courage.

· Courage to make hard choices.

· Courage to stop waiting for someone else to change.

· Courage to rebuild my life—one brave step at a time.

Eventually, I went through a divorce, found a job, invested my small savings in an affordable condominium, and worked on rebuilding my relationship with my daughters. Through every tough decision, I continued praying for my husband’s healing—even as our paths took separate directions.

When he died just four and a half years later, at age 61, I mourned deeply—not only for the man I loved and missed terribly, but also for the dream of what might have been. Closing that chapter was painful. Yet, amid the loss, I also felt God’s “very present help” in deeper, more profound, and practical ways than I’d experienced before.

What the Wilderness Taught Me

There were many moments when I felt desperate and profoundly sad. I wept. I screamed in the car with music blaring, “What. Is. Happening. To. Me? How is THIS Your will???” I wanted answers.

I was angry. This was not the answer I wanted. Through it all, though, I never stopped trusting. God loves us dearly. We walk in God’s favor. God hears the cries of our hearts, and in this, God is working, though I cannot fathom how or why it needs to look this way.

Through it all, I held onto faith. Looking back, I realize that something sacred was unfolding. I became stronger—leaning into my character, my values, my convictions, and my faith. This wilderness—this experience I never would have chosen in a million years—was gradually turning into holy ground. It was becoming a sacred space where my trust in the loving God who tirelessly works for our good was creating a place in the world where I could stand with confidence. A stable place to stand. And my experience gradually settled from chaos into a peaceful, guided path.

I discovered that God uses our difficult times to build deep character in us—resilience, peace, and a renewed understanding of love that isn’t based on circumstances. All we need is the tiniest bit of trust—even that small amount can overcome fear, and we can even ask God for that little bit of trust. This is the work God longs to do in everyone. God’s love is all-encompassing, and His willingness to help is unfailing.

Over time, I developed new relationships based on faith and recovery. My fears eased. I've discovered a new direction in life that aligns with my passion for helping others thrive. The God I had taught about for years as a Community Bible Study Teaching Director became so much more personal and closer to me than I had ever experienced before.

Encouragement for You

If you find yourself in your own wilderness right now, please hear this: it’s not the end of your story.

The wilderness can be a place of profound renewal if you let God lead you through it. His love hasn’t changed. His presence hasn’t left. He can bring you help, healing, and unexpected new beginnings—just as He did for me. Whatever your struggle, there is hope on the other side.

Closing Thought

You don’t have to have it all figured out to take your next step. Sometimes the first brave move is simply whispering, “Help!" And help will come because the God who met me on Easter Avenue is the same God walking with you through your wilderness—leading you toward a future full of faith, strength, and renewal.

�� A Reflection for Your Journey

If you’re in a season of transition—grieving what’s been lost, unsure what’s next, or longing for renewal—I want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve walked that road, too.

As a coach, I now help people navigate these in-between spaces with faith and clarity, discovering the new life that can emerge from pain and uncertainty.

If this story resonates with you, I invite you to reach out for a free discovery call. Together, we can explore what your next chapter might look like—and how to move toward it with peace, courage, and hope.

Schedule a Discovery call I’d love to hear your story!

Live a Great Story

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 16:15:37 GMT

Empowering You to Make It Count

A friend recently said, "I don't think I have a story to tell." I disagree. Everyone has a story worth telling, and you have the power to make yours remarkable. Living a great story isn't just about big adventures or significant milestones. It's about the choices you make every day and the way you shape your journey.

Your Story Matters

Sometimes, we chase a dream, and it can be challenging to let ourselves follow through on it. At other times, we face significant challenges, and we need to double down and fortify our courage to make it through. And then there are times when it's hard to find meaning in our daily routines.

This is the stuff of life, and all of it matters. The key is to embrace both the highs and the lows as important chapters that make your story unique and relevant.

Tips to Live a Great Story

Be Authentic: Stay true to yourself and your values. Let these guide your decisions and interactions. When things get hard, we're tempted to hide. But what if we chose to bring what we really think and feel to the table? What would that make possible?
Pursue Curiosity: Look for surprises. Ask people what they think. Say, "I wonder what would happen if I took the growth move." Imagine what it would be like if you took the chance and it was successful. Ask yourself what you really want. And lean into the answer. Is there an alternative approach to this? There are often more than 20 possible solutions to every dilemma. Ask for input and see what people say.
Connect with Others: Build genuine relationships with trustworthy people and seek out communities doing what you aspire to do. Listen, learn, and share your experiences too. A genuine connection happens when we're authentic, sharing not just our victories but also our struggles and how we're navigating through them. Keep in mind: the details may differ, but the feelings are the same.
Embrace Adversity: This does not come naturally. Our instinct is to avoid what feels threatening. But the challenges we tend to avoid shape our courage and deepen our character. Without adversity, our stories lack meaning. Struggle gives meaning to victory, and it's what makes our stories real and relatable.
Celebrate Small Wins: Stop waiting for a huge, flashy success to feel good about yourself. Life is a collection of small wins and tiny victories we rack up daily. Even mistakes teach us something valuable. Growth typically does not happen through three easy steps; it's built from a million tiny shuffles in the same direction. Trust the process and count your daily wins. When you look back and see how far you've come, you'll gain the momentum you need for the next big challenge. Don't fall for the lie that only giant achievements count! The small, consistent steps are what actually move you forward.

It's time to Begin Your Next Chapter

You're not too late to start living a story worth telling. Let's explore what brings you joy and fulfillment and then take the next intentional step with courage.

I'm here to support you every step of the way. Let's work together to make your story great.

You Have What It Takes to Navigate Change!

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 20:38:57 GMT

Growth begins when you trust the strength within.

My first coaching client worked with a group of widows who had unexpectedly lost their spouses during COVID-19. Horrible. Many of them had young children at home. All of them owned small businesses managed by their late partners. And now, suddenly, these businesses were handed over to them without warning.

Overnight, they faced heartbreak and responsibilities they hadn’t anticipated — grieving and leading at the same time. How do you face a change like that and come out on the other side? That’s a great question. Everybody fears sudden grief. No one wants this situation.

Here’s how you begin to navigate those kinds of situations. You start by realizing you already have what it takes to handle change. You already possess it. It’s within you.

I love looking at a newborn baby. Whenever I see one, I'm always amazed that this tiny body contains everything it will need — everything to support her through her whole life. Her heartbeat, her blood flow, her lungs.

And her compassion, ability to empathize with others, and talent for connecting—all of that she was born with. Of course, she'll need to develop it and let it grow. She’ll need help along the way, no doubt. But it’s already part of her.

The same goes for you when you start to face change. If you’re in a season of change — whether expected or unexpected — take heart. The strength, wisdom, and compassion you need are already inside you.

So don’t let fear hold you back. You have what it takes.

�� I’d love to hear: What has helped you navigate significant changes in your own life?

Feeling Stuck? 3 Simple Steps to Start Moving Again

julie.lanphear@gmail.com (Julie Lanphear) — Wed, 02 Jul 2025 23:05:33 GMT

It’s normal to feel stuck during a transition—but you don’t have to stay there.

Whether you’re navigating a career change, an empty nest, or starting something new, feeling uncertain is part of the process. The good news? Even the smallest step forward can create powerful momentum.

Here’s how to get moving again:

1. Name What’s True Right Now
Write down what’s really going on—not just the facts, but how you feel about them. Naming your thoughts and emotions helps you gain clarity and distance from overwhelm. Try journaling for 5 minutes without editing yourself.

2. Choose a Micro-Step
Big goals can feel paralyzing when you’re stuck. Instead of focusing on the finish line, choose one small action you can take this week—like researching a class, updating your résumé, or reaching out to a mentor. One step leads to the next.

3. Ask for Support
You don’t have to navigate this alone. Whether it’s a coach, friend, or support group, sharing your goals with someone else builds accountability and reminds you that growth happens in community.

Remember: You don’t have to feel 100% ready to start. Just willing.

Building a New Routine When Everything Feels Uncertain

julie.lanphear@gmail.com (Julie Lanphear) — Wed, 02 Jul 2025 00:19:40 GMT

Change can throw your schedule—and your sense of self—into chaos.

Whether it’s a new job, a move, or stepping into a new phase of life, transitions often disrupt the structure we rely on. That’s why creating a simple, flexible routine can help bring clarity and peace back into your days.

Here’s how to build a rhythm that works during change:

1. Anchor Your Day with One Steady Habit
Choose one small, daily ritual that helps you feel grounded—like a morning walk, a quiet cup of coffee, or 5 minutes of journaling. Let this be your anchor while everything else shifts around you.

2. Pick 3 Priorities, Not 10
When life is uncertain, simplify your focus. What are the three most important things you want to do today? Let that be enough. Give yourself permission to leave the rest.

3. Build in Margin
Transitions require more emotional energy than we expect. Block out 15–30 minutes a day for rest, reflection, or doing absolutely nothing. Creating space is just as important as taking action.

A routine doesn’t have to be rigid—it just needs to support the life you’re creating now.

Redefining Success in Times of Change

julie.lanphear@gmail.com (Julie Lanphear) — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 00:19:40 GMT

When your role, job, or identity shifts, you may find yourself wondering: Who am I now? The key is learning how to redefine success—not by old standards, but by what matters most to you today.

Try these steps to realign your definition of success:

1. Reflect on What Matters Now
Ask yourself: What energizes me? What do I want more of in my life? The answers may surprise you. Priorities shift with seasons. Let yourself honor the season you're in.

2. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Instead of measuring success by outcomes, try tracking effort, growth, or courage. Did you try something new? Speak up? Say no to something that no longer fits? That’s success.

3. Revisit Your Wins
List 3 past moments when you felt most proud, alive, or aligned. What were you doing? Who were you with? Often, your definition of success is hiding inside your most authentic memories.

Life transitions don’t mean you’ve failed—they’re just invitations to evolve your definition of success.

Transitions have a sneaky way of making us question our worth.

First Steps to Navigating Change

julie.lanphear@gmail.com (Julie Lanphear) — Wed, 28 May 2025 00:19:40 GMT

Navigating change is a challenge for everyone! Here are a few ideas to make it easier.

The Next Step Originates Here
You are right where you need to be today.

Pay Attention to Who & What Shows Up
The right people with the right expertise show up at the right time.

I've heard this saying many times, and in my experience, it's true. What's surfacing? Who's showing up? They may be able to offer tangible assistance.

Tiny Shuffles Beat Huge Steps
Transitions require a lot of energy. Give yourself time and space to make significant changes through small, achievable steps without worrying too much about whether you're doing it "right." Small steps over time do the trick.

Be Extra Gentle with Yourself
During times of change, be sure to take extra good care of your body. Are you eating right? Hydrating? Getting sufficient sleep? Leaving time for play, rest, and connecting with life-giving people? These small acts of care go a long way in supporting your well-being.

You got this. I'm in your corner!